I wrote the list ages ago, when we were still living in the Lake Merritt apartment. This old whiteboard/corkboard combo that hung on a nail on the back of our apartment door, and for a while, all that was on it were notes like "mail check to mom" or "library books due 4/10" or "don't forget to bring extra pants." I don't know why we would need extra pants, but maybe we were going wading in a river or visiting baby hippos or something with equal mess potential. Regardless, we did not want to forget.
Then one day I decided that, instead of boring reminders about important things like pants (seriously, they're essential), I would fill the board with a running list of things that I loved about Ross. I added to it slowly, whenever a thought struck me, and now, 3 years later, we still have this old whiteboard, with my list, hanging out on the floor of our laundry room in our new place. It was on display for ages, and I'm sure almost everyone we know has seen it already, so this blog seems like just the place to give it a permanent home, in case I accidentally erase anything on it while walking past. So now, without any further ado, here is my list, with added commentary.
1. His deep, warm, belly-shaking laugh. He doesn't let it out really very often. He's not a fan of comedies, which is a shame, because his laugh is contagious. Loud and full throated, his deep voice resonates wherever he is. I just know that he was one of those kids who used to get shushed by his teacher all the time because his voice carries. If he really likes a joke (or has startled me in an extra funny way), his eyes crinkle up in the cutest way. I mean, have you seen how handsome he was when he was 19?
2. The way he smells, especially when I bury my face in his neck. Just something about it. He smells like home and man and usually some sawdust too. Like Ron Swanson, he enjoys woodworking. Did you see the excellent table he built?
3. He gives me little sweet kisses whenever I want them. Sappy, I know. But I'm a sucker for forehead kisses, so it's good that he does this.
4. He smells so good. Ok, this is starting to feel like TMI...but he really does. If you want to come over and smell him, I could try to talk him into cooperating. But it's not likely he will.
5. He makes the cutest noises when he's falling asleep. I really didn't think this blog post through. Falling asleep noises? I mean, I love them, and him, but this is "teenage girl diary" territory. You're all gonna vomit from the overly sweet sappiness that's going on here. Why did no one point this out to me before?
6. Orgasms :) Yes, that smiley face is on the original. Is this ok to share? Probably not. Dammit. But we're married, and you're all adults, so it should be fine, right? Yeah, I'm not really convincing myself, but I'm so far into this post, and I've already scrapped 2 others. I make bad decisions when I pour myself a whiskey before writing. Please don't stop reading just because I referenced orgasms. I promise not to do it again.
7. He supports me through tough times and my own weaknesses without judgment and with lots of love. He actually likes some of my weaknesses. Like how easily startled I am. And how indecisive and impulsive I can be. He's laughing his ass off at me right now as I try to decide if this is the worst blog post ever and I should start a 4th, or if I should just soldier through and be done. Not helpful, Ross!
But! Because he's an awesome husband, he also offered to go buy me more whiskey so I would feel invincible and not mortified by how nauseatingly sweet this post is.
8. When I am feeling down or sad, all I want is to come home to him, because one of two things happens...I talk to him about it and maybe cry a little, and then I feel better; or I see him and hug him and kiss him, and feel so lucky to love him, that I forget all about being sad, and then I feel better. Ok, I think I might vomit now too. (sidenote: am I allowed to make that joke? I think I am).
9. I don't need a reason. I do what I want! Yeah! So there! I am woman, hear me roar (and cringe).
10. I always miss him when we're apart. Unless I'm mad at him. But even then, I usually miss him. And not only because I'm a softy romantic fairy-tale lover, but because I can't find my things when he's not around. I'm hopeless at keeping track of keys, shoes, phone...it's really ridiculous. I've lost things that were in my hand at the time.
11. He's happy when I come home. Imagine a dog, waiting patiently at the door, wagging it's tail the moment you enter your house. Yeah, it's nothing like that. Just a genuine smile, a hug and a kiss, and a desperate need to talk to someone who can have conversations about more than train-dinosaur-cows-lettuce. Seriously, I get more news, and questions, about the outside world from him in 15 minutes than I do during my 2 hours of NPR and 3 hours of teaching history during my day.
12. I'm so excited to be married to you. Ok, this one, totally true. I really really like this marriage thing. Ross is a great husband - better at being a husband than he was boyfriend or fiance (not that you were bad at those things babe!), and that makes me really happy.
13. He loves me and takes care of me when I'm very very drunk on my 30th birthday and cna'y write sraight, or in Emglish, apernntly. THe end of LIST. I vaguely remember writing this one. But I'm still around, and so is he, so it must be true. Also, I can't guarantee that's what #13 says. It's pretty tricky to read. But that might be the whiskey...let me know if I'm wrong, if you can decipher this.
I'm still not convinced I should hit publish on this one...but just to be safe, I'll finish up with my usual small things. I'm thankful for the 1400 Bar and Grill on Webster St because they love love love my kiddo, for the bargain bin at Lucky's because I got the kiddo some cool (not really) sunglasses with Thomas the Tank Engine on them for $1, my "Yoga Workout" station on Pandora (not that I've done much yoga recently, but it's great background music for grading), parenthesis, and greek pizza leftovers.