The Paint by Number Parents

I hate other drivers. I get so very mad at them. I feel like they're always in my way, and rude about it too. I drive a pretty big commute to work every day, and go through multiple tunnels, merges, and one big ass bridge to do it, and there are some things that I see on a regular basis that make me really crazy. I'm going to preface this rant by saying that by no means do I believe I'm the best driver, and I've inherited a leadfoot, so take this all with a grain of salt.

Lynds's Rules for Drivers:

1. Go. Just go. When a light turns green, hit the gas pedal and get up to the speed limit, and do it quickly. There's no reason to hang out in limbo for 10 seconds in between taking your foot off the brake and hitting the gas. And if you must be slow about it, be in the right lane so I can pass you. You don't have to go fast, but I do, so get out of the way, please?

2. Get up to freeway speeds before you actually hit the freeway. That's what the onramp is for - you should be going 65 by the time you try to merge. Merging at 45 mph is dangerous, and causes traffic jams for everyone and road rage for me.

3. The right lane is for driving the speed limit or below. The lanes to the left of that are for going fast, faster, and fastest. Stay out of them if you're not passing someone, so that I can pass you if I want to go faster than you!

4. If you're going the same speed as someone to your right, get into their lane and drive the same speed together in the same lane, rather than doing it next to each other, so that I can pass you.

5. Use your turn signal. Just do it. Especially when you're going to be turning left and you're waiting at a stoplight. There's little that makes me madder than waiting behind someone at a light only to see them turn on their blinker after the light turns green. I would have been in another lane if I'd known you were going to turn! Gah! And of course, no one in the right lane wants to let anyone move over when they're stuck behind a stopped car.

6. Let people in when they signal a lane change. Don't be a selfish or vindictive jerk. Once, I had been signalling a lane change for a few minutes in traffic, hoping someone would let me in. I eventually just started scooting over, and the man in the car I was trying to get in front of rolled his window down and started yelling! I responded, because I like yelling in my car, that I was trying to change lanes (which, duh), and he said, before selfishly driving his car up the butt of the person in front of him, "YOU HAVE TO ASK PERMISSION!" To which I responded, "WHAT DO YOU THINK THE BLINKER IS FOR YA JERK?" Which didn't get me into the lane I wanted, but it did make me feel a little better.

7. Don't slow down to change lanes. It's not necessary and it's unsafe. You're just making traffic.

8. You don't have to go slower just because someone next to you is going slow. It's ok to continue at the speed limit.

9. If someone is close behind you, don't slow down. Move over so that they can pass you.  It's not your job to police other people's speed. It's your job to be as unobtrusive as possible.

10. Tunnels don't require you to hit the brakes. The people in the tunnel probably aren't even hitting their brakes, it's just that they have their headlights on, which makes their rear lights turn on too. So lay off the brakes.

11. Intersections don't require that either. Look both ways without putting your foot on the brake. Covering the brake and hitting the brake are two different things.

I really believe that if we all drove like we were trying our best to get out of each others' way, we would have so much less traffic. Instead, most people seem to drive like they're trying to own as much of the road as possible in one go, or like they're terrified. I regularly see people driving 45 mph on the freeway, and I don't understand how they don't realize that they're being more unsafe than people driving 90. Someone's going to rear end you!

In summary, everyone drive faster, please.

/rant