A Time for Tears

This circle of life thing is awfully hard. Birth and death, beginnings and ends, celebrations and sorrows.

My beloved, beautiful, strong and fabulous Grammie is dying, maybe today.

It's also Emmett's 2nd birthday.

Conference-called with the cousins to decide whether to fly back home to Chicago while wrapping last minute birthday presents.

Learned that Bapa had decided he just wanted his love to be comfortable from now on while pulling cupcake pans out of the cabinet.

We got the call to be able to talk to Gram one last time while Emmett was opening his presents. I couldn't hear her, because she's apparently too weak to talk, but I told her all about our plans to celebrate the kiddo's birthday with cupcakes and trains and french fries. He said a cheerful "nankoo gwammie yuv yoo gwammie" while I handed my sister the phone so she could say goodbye.

Emmett listens to the Beatles Birthday song, and dances away, while my mother plays Frank Sinatra to my Gram to help her feel calm, safe, and ready.

Just after the kiddo spilled sprinkles all over his face, and consequently the floor, my dad called to say he'd likely be heading to Chicago shortly.

It's been all tears and all smiles, and not much in between, except for love. Love and appreciation for the amazing family I'm a part of, the family my Grammie created.

My two kindred spirits, in love with each other from the moment they met, celebrating life at the same time, in such aweful and different ways. And yes, I meant to spell it that way. I'm in awe, completely.