Just a nice little Sunday

E had his last day of soccer yesterday. He really loved going, but also, he was not at all interested in following directions any more. So I think starting next week, we'll get him signed up for swimming. At least in swim class he can't run off and try to play with the big kids - not yet, anyways! I tried to get pictures of E getting his certificate, but one of the dads picked that moment to lean over to talk to his kid, so I just got  a picture of a Russian man butt instead.

After his nap, the kiddo was super chatty. So much so that I was having trouble dealing with it. He likes to repeat himself, waiting for me to confirm or repeat the same thing. Often an absentminded "uh huh" isn't enough...he'll repeat my name until I look up and say "yes, what can I do for you?" (or sometimes, if it's the 5th time in 3 minutes, "WHAT?")

To help keep myself from yelling (I had a major headache bordering on migraine and Ross was doing our taxes - there was no escape) I kept a count. Between 3:30 and 5:00, the kiddo said:

"Mama" - 75 times"I know" - 5 times
"Not at all" - 6 times
"Me either" - 3 times
"This is works" - 2 times
"I fold waundry" (said only while unfolding laundry that I had just folded, of course)- 11 times
"Play twains" - 4 times
"Honk honk honk" (said while honking either my nose or his) - 22 times
"Oof" (the kid loves pratfalls) - 12  times
"Mama awake?" (usually accompanied by a poke in the ear) - 7 times
"What's dat called?" - 15 times
"dis is miiiines" - 22 times
"Mama help me" - 16 times
"Hi mama, whatsa matter?" - 1 times
"I's aksin qweshuns" - 1 times

Around 5, Ross finished the taxes and we headed off to Target (to get me some clothes that are actually comfortable - I can still wear a bunch of my pre-pregnancy stuff, but it just doesn't feel as nice as long cotton jersey dresses do!) and then to a toy store called Toy Safari, so E could give his binkies to the Binky Fairy's Elves (aka the toy store employees) in exchange for a toy. Kiddo has chewed through all his pacifiers in the last two weeks, and it seemed silly to buy him new ones, cause we knew he'd just do it again. So we talked to him for a couple of days about how he could give his binkies to the Binky Fairy, and she would take them to the babies who need them, and he would get to pick out a toy for being a good generous big boy. He really took to the idea, and walked out of the store (after a LOT of indecision) with a play-doh firetruck, which he's super excited about ) and he doesn't even realize it came with play-doh!)

Finished the night off with dinner at Burma Superstar (I think I could eat Tea Leaf Salad every night. Seriously, that stuff is like crack, if crack were delicious and healthy and made of 20 something different tasty ingredients) and then ice cream at Tucker's. They have the cutest little baby sized cones...E had his very first "dis is miiiines" cone all to himself, and it took about 5 seconds for him to get it all over his face. Adorable, but sticky.

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I'm thankful today for the absolute lack of traffic on the Bay Bridge tonight, the fancy feeling of drinking juice out of a wine glass, pulling off a good thought-provoking lesson, and my new comfy dress. If society didn't require us to change our outfits on the daily, I'd wear it again tomorrow.

Stupid song, stuck in my head

They played a Kid Rock song on the radio on my drive home today. And then it got stuck in my head. Which was especially frustrating because the only cure for me when I get a song stuck in my head is to listen to it. Which means I had to look up a Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow duet and play it. I was worried that Ross would make fun of me for it, because I know him and that's what he does, but this was serious! I really didn't think I could handle having that stupid chorus stuck on repeat in my head for the rest of the night.

So I did it. I googled Kid Rock, and ended up on the CMT website. If you wanna watch the video, and think you can stomach those two making googly eyes at each other, here ya go.

Or!

You could just let Ross narrate it for you. Because that's what he did. Instead of making fun of me, he scoffed and smirked and laughed his way through the whole video, and it was like having a "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" going in the background. To the best of my knowledge, this was the running commentary (I may have taken a bit of artistic license here and there):

Ross: You know Sheryl Crow's hit rock bottom when she's doin' duets with the straggelly ass ratface lookin' guy. What's his name? It's something dumb that he probably named himself when he was 8 and still thinks is cool. Kid Rock! That's his name. Look at that glare Sheryl Crow's givin' him. She looks like she hates him - like she hates the producers too. Like they promised her there would be glass between him but now there isn't and hes checking out her ass and she wants to punch him but can't because she's on camera. That dumbass hat. What is he trying to do with the giant mirror attached to the front of that thing, blind anyone who looks at him? This song is the theme song of West Virginia, right? 

I think this might be a new fun game: play terrible songs and document his reaction to them. For tomorrow, I'm torn between that Jordan Knight comeback attempt from about 8 years ago or the theme song to Friends...haven't watched that cheeseball of a video in ages.


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I'm thankful today for bars with gorgeous beer gardens, reading bedtime stories to my kiddo, that delicious yaki-soba that's in the case with the organic vegetables and tofu at the grocery store, dad sweaters, unmatching socks. Because who needs to match, seriously?

Several Haikus About My Day (because why not)

Bart Trains are smelly
People talk much too loudly
Dudes, close your legs please

Observation stress
Thank god for the internet
I made the kids laugh

Gallagher and farms
A real match made in heaven
Watermelon smash

Art school students rock
They dance and sing in the halls
Parents, not so much

Mama, look, the twains!
I know honey, I saw them
But mama, there's twains!

Orange Golden Gate
Beautiful fog-free evening
San Francisco love



Ok, so I kind of know "why not" with the haikus, but honestly, I couldn't get myself going to write this evening. Today was a lot. Not all bad, but not all good, and Emmet cried and whined our whole ride home from the Bay Area Discovery Museum (I took lots of pictures, and I'm gonna review it tomorrow I think - AMAZING kid's museum). But before that, I had my biennial observation at work, which I think went well but was stressy all the same. I did a great lecture on advertising techniques with lots of commercials and video clips, and the kids seemed to enjoy it, so that was good. My boss said he enjoyed it too, so yay! Did lots of work on curriculum and other school advocacy stuff, attempted to get going on my National Boards, but I didn't get anywhere. Then the boys came and picked me up and we had some amazing playtime up in Sausalito. But man, I am beat now. So tired, so ready for an episode of Friday Night Lights and a drink.


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Today, I'm thankful for: The Bay Area's awesomeness, the hole in the fence in my backyard, rum, just-sharpened pencils, triple chunk brownie mix

I hate other drivers. I get so very mad at them. I feel like they're always in my way, and rude about it too. I drive a pretty big commute to work every day, and go through multiple tunnels, merges, and one big ass bridge to do it, and there are some things that I see on a regular basis that make me really crazy. I'm going to preface this rant by saying that by no means do I believe I'm the best driver, and I've inherited a leadfoot, so take this all with a grain of salt.

Lynds's Rules for Drivers:

1. Go. Just go. When a light turns green, hit the gas pedal and get up to the speed limit, and do it quickly. There's no reason to hang out in limbo for 10 seconds in between taking your foot off the brake and hitting the gas. And if you must be slow about it, be in the right lane so I can pass you. You don't have to go fast, but I do, so get out of the way, please?

2. Get up to freeway speeds before you actually hit the freeway. That's what the onramp is for - you should be going 65 by the time you try to merge. Merging at 45 mph is dangerous, and causes traffic jams for everyone and road rage for me.

3. The right lane is for driving the speed limit or below. The lanes to the left of that are for going fast, faster, and fastest. Stay out of them if you're not passing someone, so that I can pass you if I want to go faster than you!

4. If you're going the same speed as someone to your right, get into their lane and drive the same speed together in the same lane, rather than doing it next to each other, so that I can pass you.

5. Use your turn signal. Just do it. Especially when you're going to be turning left and you're waiting at a stoplight. There's little that makes me madder than waiting behind someone at a light only to see them turn on their blinker after the light turns green. I would have been in another lane if I'd known you were going to turn! Gah! And of course, no one in the right lane wants to let anyone move over when they're stuck behind a stopped car.

6. Let people in when they signal a lane change. Don't be a selfish or vindictive jerk. Once, I had been signalling a lane change for a few minutes in traffic, hoping someone would let me in. I eventually just started scooting over, and the man in the car I was trying to get in front of rolled his window down and started yelling! I responded, because I like yelling in my car, that I was trying to change lanes (which, duh), and he said, before selfishly driving his car up the butt of the person in front of him, "YOU HAVE TO ASK PERMISSION!" To which I responded, "WHAT DO YOU THINK THE BLINKER IS FOR YA JERK?" Which didn't get me into the lane I wanted, but it did make me feel a little better.

7. Don't slow down to change lanes. It's not necessary and it's unsafe. You're just making traffic.

8. You don't have to go slower just because someone next to you is going slow. It's ok to continue at the speed limit.

9. If someone is close behind you, don't slow down. Move over so that they can pass you.  It's not your job to police other people's speed. It's your job to be as unobtrusive as possible.

10. Tunnels don't require you to hit the brakes. The people in the tunnel probably aren't even hitting their brakes, it's just that they have their headlights on, which makes their rear lights turn on too. So lay off the brakes.

11. Intersections don't require that either. Look both ways without putting your foot on the brake. Covering the brake and hitting the brake are two different things.

I really believe that if we all drove like we were trying our best to get out of each others' way, we would have so much less traffic. Instead, most people seem to drive like they're trying to own as much of the road as possible in one go, or like they're terrified. I regularly see people driving 45 mph on the freeway, and I don't understand how they don't realize that they're being more unsafe than people driving 90. Someone's going to rear end you!

In summary, everyone drive faster, please.

/rant