Notes

I had a pretty awesome strong-woman stand-up-for-myself moment today.  Of course, because I'm me, it came in the form of a note (I cry during in-person confrontations, which doesn't really help my cause most times).

When I was pregnant with the kiddo, I was scheduled by my OB's office to see a counselor. Apparently she checks in with people about alcohol and drug use and other stuff when pregnant. Anyways, it was an awful meeting. She wouldn't hear me at all about how an occasional glass of wine isn't harmful at all, and insisted I would be making bad choices for my child if I had a glass of champagne at my wedding. Science does not back her up, and my kiddo is great (I actually had two verrrrrrry slow flutes of delicious bubbly champagne over the course of my whole wedding day.)

But that wasn't the worst part. The first thing she handed me when I walked in there was a pamphlet about not gaining too much weight, and how to eat during your pregnancy so that it would be easier to lose the baby weight after the kid is born. I was 16 weeks pregnant at the time, and terrified about how I, as an eating disorder survivor, would react to gaining 30 pounds. I was already stressed out enough about food as it was, and I definitely didn't need a therapist type telling me to think about it more, or to worry more about not gaining weight.

Today, I got scheduled to see her again. I refused, because duh, why would I want to talk to her again? A great therapist is one of the best things ever, and conversely, a bad therapist (or a bad match) is one of the worst things. Even now, after just refusing, I'm worked up enough to be blogging about it while I wait for my OB. And I haven't talked to this lady for over 2 years!

Rather than just keep quiet about it, though, I wrote a note. Because she should know why, so other people don't have to get mind-fucked too.

So it wasn't the in-person schooling I'd imagined I would give this woman if I were ever to see her again, but that's ok. Because I said my piece both in writing and to the OB I have who I trust, my OB delivered the note to her, and now she knows. I think sometimes I get caught up in thinking that in order to stick up for myself I have to do it in a specific way...but this way is just fine. And honestly, writing is my way, so why not embrace it?

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I'm thankful today for Crash Course World History, good doctors, good therapists, good dentists, and a job that allows me to talk about real things in real ways.